Self Love vs. Narcissism . Which is Healthier ?

It’s Self love month and Self-love is a vital part of life. It can be difficult to feel good about ourselves, especially in these hard times but it is so important. Many people struggle with narcissism, which is characterized by an excessive love for oneself.

However, there are key differences between narcissism and healthy self-love that should be noted.

Self-Love

Loving yourself means maintaining conscious awareness of who you are and what lies within you. It means accepting yourself the way you are. Self-love is when a person cares for themselves while keeping others in mind. When you love someone, you accept them for who they are. You do not depend on validation or distraction from the outside, you accept what exists between you and the other. It is the same with self-love. You establish a relationship with this mysterious ‘other’ and you never turn away, no matter how ugly and real it gets.

Narcissism

Narcissism is a whole other concept, and it is seen as a personality disorder too, termed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. A narcissistic person loves themselves and only themselves. They are full of pride and have such vanity that to an extent that they even forget other people’s existence. This sense of prestige comes at a price and is vulnerable. Those with narcissistic disorders need constant reassurance from their peers, because they have to be the best, the most right, and the most competent; do everything their way; own everything; and control everyone.

Self-Love v/s Narcissism

Self-love is the unapologetic act of putting yourself first, and being proud and confident in your achievements. This is a healthy mentality, unlike narcissism.

• A narcissist typically has low self-esteem and is always in the need of reassurance and adoration. Although they seem confident on the outside, self-doubt and insecurity consume them from inside as they need and expect constant validation from others.

Whereas, those who have high self-esteem and practice self-love don’t need recognition or congratulations for their accomplishments.

• Everyone has flaws. Those who love themselves accept their flaws, and work to improve them if need be. They also seek out constructive criticism, because they continuously want to grow. While in the case of a narcissist, everything they do, they do it better than anyone. They sidestep other’s opinions because of the special status afforded to them.
• As mentioned earlier, a person who practices self-love accepts themselves. A narcissist on the other hand, pretends they’re perfect and nothing could be wrong with them. Even though deep inside they know they might have flaws, they will always be in denial and think of themselves as the best.